Friday, 20 April 2012

Well, darn.

I promise that this tiny corner of the backside of the internet will not become another online diary of a backlog of emotional drama and far too many words that are not a) funny, b) interesting or c) full of pictures of delicious food. It's still just a log for animation/art type things as I learn how to not make peoples heads explode with horribleness whenever I try to draw something that is not a horse or a dinosaur. But this little bit of non-animation school and/or art related goop does impact said animation school/art related goop. So there.

Basically, I've not been doing so hot. Nothing terribly interesting, and nothing life threatening or even terrible life changing in any major, physical, permanent way. But still distressing and alarming to me because, frankly, it's happening to me. Minor social and general anxiety suddenly becoming unbearable and making even the process of going outside my room terrifying, a mild tendency to pluck hairs becoming a full fledged case of trillotrichomania resulting in me missing most of the hair of the top of my head (I seriously look like friar tuck. I've suddenly developed a fondness for hats), depression that suddenly drops leaving me disinterested in anything I previously enjoyed and unable to feel much of anything intermitted with bouts of panic when I do suddenly feel (insert a #feelings joke here). It's like all the issues that have been riding on my back ever since high school, in varying degrees, have all come crashing down harder than ever before. It's happened before, in smaller ways, but not in the middle of a program that I cared so deeply about, and wanted to continue, and not after I had felt I was improving so much. It blindsided me not once but twice during this past year of animation goodness, and I feel a fool for not being able to stop it, and for being to embarrassed and in denial to ask for help. And on top of it all there have been some non-mental health issues as well, though I'd rather not get into those. 

Oh no, I've gotten too verbose and moody. Long start shot, I've been feeling crap, and I'm leaving the animation program for a short time to get things sorted out. I do know that, beyond a doubt, I wish to return to this program, in this school, above all else, and will do anything it takes to keep that door open. I always figured I would go into fine arts as a little kid, or maybe illustration, but after experiencing animation I can say there is nothing else I would rather do. And though I do have to ship my bum back home for a bit, I'm still going to be working on things, drawing, painting, and maybe even animating, and posting the junk here. And, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll be back to Sheridan to become awesome. 

Oh lawd, that was too many words. Here's a video of some animation nonsense I did in the past couple months. 


  1. We didn't really talk (only once or twice) so maybe it is weird for me to say so, but good for you for taking care of yourself. Your work is super solid, so whenever you're ready to come back, you'll kick butt for sure.

  2. Hannaaah! I'm sad to see you leave our year, but at the same time I really respect you for realizing that there's issues that you want to take care of first. I love your work (not just your dinosaurs and horses, although they are terrific!), and I hope to see more of it in the future!

    Keep in contact! I hope to see you again and we shall celebrate with awesomeness!

    1. Oh, and amazing Demo-Reel, haha!
      Stingraaay, Stingray!

  3. It's too bad you have to leave. You animations look really good, especially the hyena walk cycle.

  4. hey man! Sorry to see you go, but hope to see you in later years when you return. Solid work :)